Nonverbal Intimacy Behaviors

My score to the test we took earlier in class is a 93, which if I remember correctly is the average score for males. This makes perfect sense to me because I do not believe myself to be above average in this subject. I do sometimes talk with my hands but try not to use them too often. When people are speaking to me, I make sure to keep eye contact with the speaker at all times so they know that they have my attention. I may smile or laugh when they say a joke or something funny but I do not believe that I do this very often. I do this because I’ve always felt that being quiet and keeping constant eye contact with a person when they are talking is a valuable trait. I do realize though that this can be confusing for people at times. They may misunderstand my lack of emotions as not caring about the subject they are speaking about. Sometimes it would be beneficial for me to smile or laugh more, I could use hands more to better show my emotions.

Styles of Listening

Out of all of these different listening styles I would describe myself as an action centered listener. I enjoy listening to people’s problems and stories but I want them to be clear and concise. When a person’s story is too long or they are not using proper English I have a tendency towards losing focus. I will usually focus more on the length of the speech or their lack of a vocabulary instead of listening to the actual story. One of my biggest pet peeves is my generation’s infatuation with the word “like”. When a person uses this word more than 3 times in a sentence, which happens too often, all I can focus on is that.

         I believe that I learned this from a mixture of both my family and my friends. Both my mother and my father stressed the importance of speech. When I was younger I had many problems in school and they tried very hard to help me improve. From them I know now that clear messages are important in life. Also, my friends have also helped me become an action-centered listener. Any time my stories would drag on they would always tell me to get to the point and this has stuck with me.

         This style of listening can be both good and bad. Organized speeches make the speaker seem smart and desirable by employers and teachers alike. Although, at times when my boss gives a task but does not say it in a clear way, I sometimes wonder off in my head and forget the task completely. Just recently this happened to me at work and if I had been more people centered in my listening I would have been able to pay attention to what my boss was telling me instead of focusing on how long she had been talking.

Styles of Listening

Out of all of these different listening styles I would describe myself as an action centered listener. I enjoy listening to people’s problems and stories but I want them to be clear and concise. When a person’s story is too long or they are not using proper English I have a tendency towards losing focus. I will usually focus more on the length of the speech or their lack of a vocabulary instead of listening to the actual story. One of my biggest pet peeves is my generation’s infatuation with the word “like”. When a person uses this word more than 3 times in a sentence, which happens too often, all I can focus on is that.

         I believe that I learned this from a mixture of both my family and my friends. Both my mother and my father stressed the importance of speech. When I was younger I had many problems in school and they tried very hard to help me improve. From them I know now that clear messages are important in life. Also, my friends have also helped me become an action-centered listener. Any time my stories would drag on they would always tell me to get to the point and this has stuck with me.

         This style of listening can be both good and bad. Organized speeches make the speaker seem smart and desirable by employers and teachers alike. Although, at times when my boss gives a task but does not say it in a clear way, I sometimes wonder off in my head and forget the task completely. Just recently this happened to me at work and if I had been more people centered in my listening I would have been able to pay attention to what my boss was telling me instead of focusing on how long she had been talking.

Technology and Interpersonal Communication

When people are online there are four different ways to present themselves.  The first assumption is that the computer screen can deceive. This assumption deals with how people can show themselves differently than how they look in person. On my facebook account, for example, I only have two pictures and both of them are over two years old so someone looking at my facebook might be surprised if they saw me face to face. Many people on facebook will post pictures of themselves in flattering angles and look completely different in person, which is deceitful. The second assumption is that online discussions often prompt introspection. If I message a friend online, I have the ability to stop and think about what I am going to say to them as opposed to a face to face interaction. Sometimes my friends and I will make fun of each other on facebook just as a joke and since I am not directly in front of my friend, I have the time to think of a witty quip. The third assumption is that online discussions promote self-orientation. For example, my facebook is mine, and set up to show my personality. I choose what to put on my account, my favorite bands and movies, what friends I can accept, and what posts I want to show. The fourth and last assumption states that self-disclosure occurs online. This means that people can decide what information can be seen or hidden online. On my facebook account I hide almost all of my information from people who are not my friends, including my email address, where I live, my phone number, etc.

Other concepts include Screen names and email addresses. An email address can say a lot about a person and if that person is applying for a job and the employer sees that their email address is vulgar or offensive, they probably wont hire that person.

Enhancing your educational accessibility. The Internet has made it possible to search through millions of sources in just a click of a button. If I ever need to search for sources for a paper, I search online. This makes the process of finding information and sources so much faster.

Privacy sacrificed. Facebook is a great example of this. When someone signs up for facebook they reveal personal information and the rest of the world can find it, so it is very important to be cautious when revealing information on the Internet.

Abbreviated language. The Internet and texting has given birth to a new language. People know use words like “lol” and “brb” on a daily basis.

Write literally. Many things on the Internet can be misconstrued so it is very important to write literally on the Internet so you are not misunderstood.

Words are Powerful

Something as simple as a single word can have a dramatic effect on people. There are many words that can be very powerful, like freedom, curse words, or words pertaining to death, such as murder, or cancer. These words can conjure up strong emotions in those who hear them.

I read an example where a few strong words were used a few weeks ago in the Trentonian, a newspaper that I am not too fond of. A middle-aged man committed suicide by jumping into a flatbed truck on I-95. Reading this stirred up many emotions for me, it is never easy hearing about suicide, especially when it is close to home. What made it worse was the way that The Trentonian reported the news. The title to the article was Road Kill, which I found extremely distasteful. They also went into gruesome details about body parts that were located around the accident. I feel that this is a great example of a time when the media used strong words in an inappropriate manor. Times when I use strong words would be with my family or with my girlfriend to show affection. “I love you” is a very strong set of words and I like to use those words to show the people closest in my life how I feel about them. Times when I would avoid using strong words, such as curse words, would be when I’m around adults or at a job interview. I’m not going to lie; when I am around my friends I tend to use some explicit language that might offend some. This is why I only use this language around my friends, who know not to take my language to heart.