Interpersonal Communication and Conflict

           Conflict is everywhere and happens all the time. It is very rare to go through the day without encountering some form of conflict. How we react to these conflicts and what techniques we use determines how it ends. Normally when I get into a conflict situation I will use the defusing technique. This means that during an argument, I will try to find something that the other person is saying and agree with them. It is hard to keep an argument going when both parties agree with each other. I use this technique often but sometimes I use bad communication techniques. Occasionally in an argument I get very angry and immediately become very defensive and say things that only make the argument last longer.

            Last year I got into a severe argument with my girlfriend. I was supposed to go to her house for Valentine’s Day after I got out of work, but I was very tired and decided to go home and sleep.  This started a vicious fight between us over a period of about three days. When the fight first began I tried to be understanding and told her that I was very sorry but I was just too tired. But as she continued to argue I grew angry and started to yell. I used the getting mad communication technique, which never works. It got to a point where I threatened to break up and she agreed to it. Neither of us wanted to end the relationship, we were just too angry and stubborn to apologize. We did eventually get back together and apologized to each other but I now see the mistakes that I made. Getting angry and yelling never solves an argument I should have used the empathy technique and saw things from her perspective. She planned all day to see me and made a romantic dinner for us and I just ditched her. If I had tried seeing things from her perspective than the argument would not have lasted nearly as long. I could have also used the defusing technique to resolve the argument. After reading this article I feel that I am now better prepared to resolve conflicts than before and I will try to use these techniques more often.